I READ ABOUT COW IN HEIST SHOCK

I see that some cow, enraged by the milko waiters who stalk her fields, has been arrested following a daring theft at a supermarket in the town of Langport of Somerset.

The bovine character, who is known as RTx6540, or Marigold, entered the brightly lit market disguised as Mrs Enid Wheel (née Stone) and spent eight minutes of her life loading a basket and/or trolley with pats and/or pots of butter, cheese, yoghurt, crème fraîche and double cream.

Steven Wheel (no relation) manager of another market store said "I've no idea what occurred. I work in a rival multi-food sales establishment, and was busty in my stock room."

Some cow known as RTx6540 was arrested under caution and subsequent bailed. "I utterly amazed at the fuss," she said last night.