I AM BOTHERED BY FABRIC DOGS

Some days I head to a beach where people walk pets, and today I was bothered by fabric dogs. Obviously some of them were of soft wool and easy, but others had a mean approach and more bite than gerbils on acid.

I fought them with my sandwich but it was to no avail, for when I reached the beach they regrouped and chased me onto the pier.

As the pier is of slatted wood I had an advantage because their paws became stuck between the slats, and they found no purchase. So I then took myself to the end of the pier where I waited until they had dispersed to Dawlish, where they shat in the dunes.

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